Here we go again, the Bravo Network is tackling the REAL relationship topics that RARELY get covered on a TV series. For a network known for their reality series; this scripted series makes real life relatable.
Life changes, emotional meltdowns and exciting new chapters are the topics that keeps me curious in the lives of these three friends going through the ugly “D” word – DIVORCE. Are you relating to this show like me? I’ve been there, and a plethora of my girlfriends have been there. I seem to learn something every week. Let’s explore a couple of topics that unfolded on episode four of GG2D.
“When you tell the truth to yourself about what you are actually feeling, you might be surprised at the freedom you discover.” – Love by Design
Let’s talk about an emotion that’s inevitable with divorce. Anger. It tends to be a surface emotion. Yet if you look at what is driving the anger, you will often find hurt, pain, or fear. When you tell the truth to yourself about what you are actually feeling, you might be surprised at the freedom you discover.
Kudos this week goes to entertainment lawyer, Lyla for FINALLY showing a trace of vulnerability and honesty. Lyla from episode one was the “agro friend”. The predominant emotion we’ve seen expressed from Lyla. Why do you think she’s embraced this emotion? Could it be to mask what she doesn’t want to feel? She finally breaks down and with an emotional admission: “Dan…. is gone. We used to take care of each other. And now he’s possibly going to take my children.” A heart-wrenching breakthrough that she really doesn’t have it all under control temporarily replaced by her anger. Do you have or are YOU that “agro” friend? Lyla’s honesty is commendable and needed to get through difficult changes.
It’s not easy to deal with painful emotions head-on. But it’s definitely vital to your good health and well-being, physically, mentally and spiritually.
Freedom = Relationship-free. However, it doesn’t mean you’re not going to need a little love guidance during this phase. Abby is the recipient of my Love By Design coaching this week.
To become a successful dater, one must:
1. Have an open heart and mind
2. Keep it light, and have fun
3. Look for what’s great in your date, whether you want to see them again or not
But… here’s the catch —> While at the same time keep his or her eyes wide open for RED FLAGS. Abby girlfriend, I feel you, but you missed some very large, flapping-in-the-wind red flags.
Let’s recap a few:
Red flag #1: Prior to your first date with “I-just-left-my-wife” (Nate), you clearly had a contemplative moment resulting in the removal of your wedding ring. Only to arrive and have your date still wearing his. Did you even notice this? And as your girlfriends pointed out – repeatedly, “He’s still married.” It makes me question… does the ring on/off actually mean the marriage is on/off?
Red flag #2 – Your date was “directing” how your first kiss should go. “Maybe you should open your mouth a little wider?” “Maybe you just have a weird mouth?” REALLY? I’m thinking maybe you just don’t kiss again!
Red flag #3 – Passive aggressive statements are free-flowing – “Is your tongue always so cold?”
Red flag #4 – Awkward, he-kept-his-shirt-and-socks-on, leaving-you-unfulfilled sex? No words here… I mean crickets… anyone give me an “Amen” on this red flag?
So many red flags that were ignored – have you been guilty of this?
And…..when your brother asks you how it’s going, you reply “We just click.” Here’s the thing – YOU DON’T!
Fantasies about someone can sometimes be better than the actual person himself.
Thankfully Abby regrouped by the end. I don’t know about you, but this was painful to watch. It’s time to ask yourself some important questions so this experience helps you evolve and move forward: What did you learn from this? Is it possible it’s a little too early to be dating?
It’s a slow healing process to find yourself after a relationship ends. It’s a journey where we take one step forward and two steps back, and four steps forward and two steps back…and that’s OK!
* Practice self-reflection
* Commit to feeling your emotions, versus stuffing them.
* Progress, not perfection.
* When we know better, we do better.
Keep on keepin’ on girlfriends! Fantasyland and/or agroland – they’re places where you don’t want to be. Find your HONEST voice and discover a new land to go along with your new found freedom.