Raising money, raising unresolved wounds, and raising painful pasts filled an emotional Episode 12 of Bravo‘s GG2D of our favorite girlfriends.

The outside doesn’t always match the inside, does it?  Yet it’s when we find the courage to open up, be vulnerable and share the pieces of ourselves that we may not be proud of, we take our lives and our relationships to a whole new level.Love By Design

Do you know a “Phoebe”?  Our usual carefree, happy-go-lucky on the outside girl, shows serious vulnerability when she discloses she was “trailer park trash” with pot-smoking parents who were happy to ship her off to modeling school at 14.  Phoebe now spends money freely to make her “feel like someone”, and her truth is that she never even earned a high school diploma.  Phoebe’s past produced her present.  Enter her new, grounded, secure-with-himself boyfriend offering wise words of support – “Don’t let a piece of paper define you.  I don’t.”   Big kudos to you, Marco!  You just went up a notch in my book!  Finding the right words isn’t always easy, and you just proved it doesn’t have to be complicated.  Who wants a Marco in their life?

Do you know a “Delia”?  Our bad ass, get out of my way or you’ll be run over because I’m fast tracking it to partner at my law firm.  Delia discloses to her ex-lover (and now ex-client) Beech that as a divorce attorney the only relationship story she knows is that love turns to contempt and betrayal and abandonment.  WOW!  That’s a big fat downer and a big fat honest statement coming from a painful past.   You are definitely not going to succeed in a relationship with that life/love/relationship philosophy, Delia!  Is that truly a space that you want to stay stuck in?

How far will some of us go to erase our past?  Phoebe’s past also happens to be on public display as a photo of her from years ago is put up for auction at the school fundraiser.  Rather than risk someone else having this piece of her, she shells out 10k to secure it, and then tearfully incinerates it in her fireplace that very same night.  Is it possible to burn our pasts?  It might be out of sight yet until we face our past, it will not be out of mind.

Never let your past define who you are going to be.


Your past is who you were, yet it does not equal your future.  It’s never too late to become who you want to be.  Write your own new story!   – Love by Design

Jake is busy writing his own new financial story as he has earned more money in the few months apart from Abby than the past 10 years of marriage with her.  What the heck is happening here?  He’s raising his own standards?  He’s finally being allowed to shine?  Relationships are about give and take… bringing out the best in each other.  One doesn’t have to stay dim so the other can shine.  Is it too late for them to shine together?

Jake presents Abby with a shiny diamond necklace, and an admission that their split was a huge wake-up call for him.  He finally got his head out of his ass.  She supported him and he didn’t appreciate her. This heartfelt vulnerable moment between them would have ended in a kiss – if it weren’t for the ding dong doorbell.  Will is eagerly waiting….

A hurtful past?  We all have them!

Raise those past mistakes.  Let the wound(s) and hurt(s) rise to the surface.  Embrace them as a gift that helped shape you…. THEN let it…. strengthen you….Love By Design

Then decide:  Who are you going to be in the future?

Then remind yourself:  Your past is your OLD story.

Then ask yourself:  What’s your NEW story look like?