To the men of online dating:
(Women please share if you find it helpful. This benefits all single people!) Spring has arrived, people are coming out of their winter hibernation and spring fever/dating season is kicking up again. And since I kicked off both a webinar and an online course for single women, it only seemed right to post a blog/share a little wisdom with the single men of the world as well. Why not learn from the mistakes of others in the dating world?! Here we go….
Here’s the thing… online profiles are EVERYWHERE…. and they crack me up. Sometimes they are entertaining, other times they are downright irritating. Either way I feel compelled to share some words of wisdom with the men out there who are truly in search of a woman who makes them go WOW, and just might not know where they are going wrong.
- “Wow Women” do not like or even slightly care about pictures of you holding a fish. You just killed something, it’s bloody and it’s certainly not attractive. It pays to know your audience. Would you have any interest in pictures of us shoe shopping?
- “Wow Women” really reeeeeally REEEEEEEALLY dislike:
– bathroom selfies
– bed selfies
– shirtless selfies
– selfies sans your face
– selfies from the waist down
– gym selfies
- If you don’t smile in your pictures?
– Bad teeth
– Your happy cup is not overflowing
– Too cool for school
- If you have your hat on in EVERY single picture? Bald.
- If you don’t state your height? SHORT. If you’re short, just own it. Confidence is sexy. There are wonderful women that are happy with shorter men. Yet no one appreciates a short surprise after the fact. Write your height in the profile. No. Matter. What.
- You post pictures, and write absolutely nothing? Nothing. Zip. Nada. Let’s put it this way, if you don’t make the effort to write something funny or slightly interesting, please don’t expect to attract someone fun or interesting.
- Typos? Shows a lack of attention to detail, or that you simply don’t care. Neither will attract you a WOW woman.
- If your pictures are of you in high school, or growing up, we assume you already peaked, as you are sharing your glory days from years gone by.
- You only post one picture? This screams fake profile. This is not you. Or, you are married, hiding something or someONE.
- If your pictures are blurry or taken from 1000 feet away? Intentionally hiding something.
- If you have sunglasses on in every picture? If you choose not to show your eyes, what’s under the glasses is not attractive, or you’re hiding something.
- If you lie about your age in any form, YES including putting your real age in the body of the paragraph, do other lies come easy as well? Who wants a relationship, or even a date for that matter, with someone who can’t own their truth and their real age. I know you think you might “miss out on someone because you were overlooked because of your age”. How about if you miss out on the right person because you said you were younger than you really are? Pretty much everyone thinks they look younger than their age. Grow up and own it.
- If you only have pictures of your face? The body is not being shared for a reason. Easy deduction here.
- Pictures with your wedding ring on? Really? Is this an old picture or are you still married? Either way, Bye Felicia.
- Posting pictures with other women? How do I stress this enough? This is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad idea. Your man-brain logic might be telling you that posting a picture with a hot girl will attract other hot girls and the answer is this… no…….It won’t. Here’s how the female brain works: Is this guy a player? Who is that woman? Is she his ex? His sister? His hot friend? His current girlfriend? No one likes to guess about that, so it’ll get you a BIG SWIFT swipe left.
- Heavily cropped pictures? If there’s a manicured or bejeweled hand over your shoulder and no face? Did you crop out your ex? Tacky.
- Pictures of your car, your motorcycle, or your house…. Leading with your money will attract gold diggers, not “Wow Women”. You choose who you attract.
Now that we have a list of the top DON’Ts of an Online profile, let me switch back into my normal space of LOVE and share some helpful DOs:
- Have someone you trust proof your profile. (Preferably a woman who is UNBIASED.)
- Great pictures are a must. Women are visual too. Again, ask an unbiased woman you trust to give you HONEST feedback.
- Share your true age.
- When you start communicating, ASK the person QUESTIONS to get to know them. A lack of questions implies you are either self-centered or oblivious to what it takes to be a successful dater. Personalize your first correspondence with something unique about the person you want to learn more about. A “Hi” or “How are you?” doesn’t excite anyone.
- Texting as a means of initially getting to know someone is fine, yet don’t let that be your only form of communication. Endless texting alone equals avoidance. Step up and ask to meet in person, sooner versus later.
- READ her freaking profile. Take the 15.7 seconds it takes to do that! If you’re seriously looking for a relationship, ask questions beforehand on if they are married, want kids, etc. Your time is valuable. ASK.
- Be playful with your texts. No one appreciates boring.
- Remember that what might sound funny in person, often doesn’t translate the same way in a written message. Women like men with a sense of humor, yet if the joke isn’t funny, they quickly move on.
- Keep your messages simple, thoughtful, and just be yourself. Authenticity is rare and very much appreciated!
- And when you finally do meet in person, don’t just be on time…. be there BEFORE her. Successful dating 101.